Baffled

I can abide no more
This deafening silence..

Crushed….
Under this cruel kindness
I witness the living death
Waiting to diminish
My dying alive soul

Are these real nightmares
Or imaginary realities
Am I a mournful optimist
Or a hopeful pessimist

Contemplating these bizarre realities
I shrink into the shortened eternity

Tear Pearl

Your cloudy eyes shed
Few precious pearls
I embrace them
And fill in my heart

To remember those bitter moments
When I left you alone

To cherish those sweet moments
When I was remembered.

Quest for life

Running behind life
We fail to note
That life has slowed
And it trails behind
In the quest for successful life
We gallop faster and faster
But perplexed and saddened
We wonder, what went wrong?
We have everything yet nothing
Successful we are, yet life is missing
We fail to realize that
We need to halt
And turn back
There we would see
All that we missed
All that which was once ours
We would see the hopeful eyes
Of our loved ones
Whom we ignored
At last we will see Life
Still waiting...for us

Irony

I shrugged with disgust
Spilling my abhorrence
For my worthless life

Yet life loved
And bestowed
Unasked boons

Which seemed
Futile to my
Arrogant mind

Resolute to end
Consumed a pinch
Of pallid poison…

I sensed you
From my
Cataleptic state

Few hours of care
You bestowed
To a sinking soul

A sudden gush
To outwit death

But Irony of my fate….
I was a little late….

I learnt life
When life hated ………

Yes, I learnt life
When life betrayed………..

Second Chance

Sweet memories
Buried deep pops up

The silver strands
On the familiar faces
Makes me realize
That ages have passed

Yet all seems the same
Just like yesterday…

Time relapses
To a stage
Where life knew
No worries

I wish to accomplish
So much…..
That I had blindfolded
I wish to rewrite
Few pages of my life

If life could give me
A second chance….

Rainbow

I see a ray of hope
Peering through the somber sky
The moistened mist touches
The layers of my inner heart
I rise from my hibernation

To discover
The rainbow of my life

A wait of year long

A kiss
On my eye lids

A shower
Of your care

I taste your sweetness
On my lips

Quenching my thirst
Of a wait
Year long….


The first rain….

Innocence Lost

Innocence was lost
As she bumped
Into the doorways of
The brutal world

The vibrant masks
Veiling the vicious ogre
Was ruptured

As the feeble teen
Stumbled upon the
Bitter truth

At nights she wrapped
In the swathe of her sheets
To shun the daemon’s kiss

A secret her own
She wanted to spit
But a deserted soul
Frightened she was

She struggled
With all her valor
Protecting her purity

The world will now acknowledge
She is unblemished
A true warrior

I wish not to die

Perplexed and perturbed
Pen I grab
I blow my life
And in my verses I survive

Sometimes I blabber
Some random thought
Sometimes I etch
The reflection of my heart

Sometimes I portray
A tinge of delight
Sometimes in gloom
My pen halts

However dire
It may seem
I do not wish to die
I plead not for extols
Or fallacious words

Slash apart
Assess my flaws
Don’t let me plunge
Into an unreachable horizon

As I wish not to die
But, I wish to rise
Tampering my flaws

As I wish not to die
I wish to rise
Flowering my potency

If tomorrow comes

I wish to admire
The warmth of the scarlet sun
The sweetness of the dew drops
The freshness of the early dawn
The scent of the vivid blossoms
If tomorrow comes

I wish to show my gratitude
To my parents and siblings
To my teachers and preachers
To my subordinates and bosses
To my colleagues and pals
If tomorrow comes

I wish to conclude
The undone tasks
The unsaid words
And see the unseen places
And feel unfelt emotions
If tomorrow comes

Lain at the rim of my life
As I wait for the fiend of death
I wish to understand
Death after life
Life after death
If tomorrow comes…..

Renaissance once more

From void I emerged
Genesis it was

Then a struggle
To unravel
The meaning
Of my existence

My efforts plunged
Into eternity….

Then one fine day
I sank once more
Into void…..

Then Transformation

Renaissance once more…..

Once alive

I just asked for
A share of you
To sate my hunger
But your callous heart
Perceived not my need

A victim of your rage
I lie lifeless

Once an alive mosquito……

The J(Z)ealous moon

The j(z)ealous moon
Rented a satin sheet
From the clouds
To hide its f(g)ac(z)e

After being
Spell bounded

By your exotic beauty

Tear continues...

My crystal heart clouds
At your sight

I pen my sour memories
As a tear rain

You halt for an instant
Then depart
as a galloping gale

Stopping the rain
Restoring the pain
For a future shower....

Renaissance

Shedding
My autumn tears

I nurture
My spring hope

Rising from my grave
I see the sunshine

Renaissance it is

Ruthless Romance

Her tendrils
Sprout
In his
Placid touch

She starves
For more of
His unsaid love

A sudden outburst
He stares
With his
Crimson eyes

Ripping her trust
He walks off
Throwing
A few pennies
As always

Ode of a lamenting heart

Blown away trust
Under your iron heart
It has got crushed

Sprouted desire
Lies lifeless
Without fire

My deserted shore
With ebbed sand
Can take no more

My darkened sky
Sans the betraying moon
At night it cries

Take my present
Return my past
Drain my sorrows
Before I exhaust

Heal my lesion
Hide my scar
Renew my life
Release me from this prison

All I know is....

I know not
How to show off
Or to compliment you
With flowery words
But all I know is
I do care
All your sorrows
With you, I’ll share

I know not
How to get your love
Or to ask for what I want
But all I know is
There will always
Be a place
In my heart
Just reserved for you

I know not
If you really
Notice me
Or just ignore
Blinding yourself
All I know is
You will see me
If you look through
Your inner heart

Life - Roller Coaster?

Life a roller coaster ride
Sometimes I am jumpy
Sometimes I am calm
Sometimes I witness
A turbid storm

Sometimes I climb
Difficulties steep
Sometimes I foresee
The waiting descend

I howl as I wait
For the impending fall
I snort as I see
The traversed path

Miles to go
Before I sleep
What I have sown
I shall reap

Just waiting for
The big leap
When the roller coaster
Will glide
Reaching the peak

Daddy's girl

In the rocking cradle alone she cried
In her father’s care, her tears dried
Daddy’s girl, he always on her side
From him there was nothing to hide

Swaying swing, frightened she cried
Assured her, he was her guide
Taught life and showed opportunities wide
She worried not, he was there to abide

Sailing smooth now, says she “enjoying this ride”
Her eyes does speak, she has now lied
Losing him, all nights she cried
Without his care each instant she died

Daddy’s girl, without him
Each instant she died

Broken pieces

Broken pieces of my heart
Scattered feelings drift apart
Rambling over some twaddle thought
What I hoped for I never got

A pallid dot in the crimson hue
Where the path leads, have no clue
The oozing oil will not last
The dreading storm is approaching fast

Past shadows my hopeful present
Devoid of hope, my life is a crescent
Daunted I wail, my cry does fade
Burning in pain, I wait for the shade

Burning in pain, I wait for the shade

Hilarious experience - 2

“Childhood musings”, pondering over this, I can relate to some memories. One of them goes so…

Our little gang, gang of cousins was gathered at our grand parent’s house for summer vacation. Of course summer vacation used to be so much fun. Now without diverting from my topic, let me come to the point. One day during the vacation some so and so show was scheduled to be telecasted at 11.pm. The program being a horror serial. Despite the warning from our parents, we defended our selves saying “We have grown up now. Please give us a break. We can handle it”. Elders deciding that there was no further use in arguing, left us on our own. All the elders slept in a separate room, leaving us alone for the rendezvous of so called grown up kids.

During the serial each one’s heart was pumping with fear, but no one showed it outside. Each one had a sheepish smile to hide the fear. After the program got over, we all slept with a night lamp on. Suddenly we saw some shadows on the ceiling. The shadows being as big as water melons. We were totally perplexed. We could not imagine what these were. I thought may be I am imagining these things and confirmed with others. No one seemed to know what they were. Suddenly the 3 shadows began to move and circle the ceiling fan. Now we were speechless. We were totally confused as well as feared to move and switch on the tube light to inspect what was wrong. One of them shouted “flying water melons”.

We thought of going to the elders and getting their help, but rejected the idea owing to the nice dosage of advice and scolding that would have been showered by them. Besides no one was ready to move from his/her position. I covered my face with the blanket murmuring prayers, hoping for the sunrise to come soon.

At last when sunrise came, we narrated what had happened to our parents. We said “mom, pa, we had seen flying water melons yesterday night L”. After inspection we found out some dead cockroaches. It had been some flying cockroaches which had given us such fright. All the elders mocked us. Even now when we gather together they make fun of us by asking “Do you still fear watermelons? we mean flying water melons”.

Hilarious experience - 1

Taking of hilarious experiences. I would like to share some experiences which may or may not have been hilarious at that time, but now when I come to think of it, it sure does seem. So here are some incidents that flashes when I hear the word hilarious.

I have a certain allergy towards pets. Not that I don’t like them, It is that I am some what afraid of them. I love to admire them provided they are kept at a distance. As expected they have some extra affinity towards me and they get excited at my sight causing me to fear them even more. One such incident happened when I was doing my schooling. I used to take up extra tuitions to grasp some knowledge in order to avoid flunking in exams. The classes were at the first floor and the owner resided at the ground floor. As expected they had a huge pet dog. It used to bark at me as if asking “Why are you here?”. On the d day I came to the class in a happy mood. Closing the gate, I parked my cycle. My brother was with me. I was about to lock my cycle when I saw our hero fiercely approaching towards me. I had the chain lock with me. Myself and my brother started shouting. But our fellow was enjoying himself. He was playing ringa ringa roses, circling around the garden. We both were now at the opposite corners trying to disappear inside the walls and our fellow was alternating between the two corners. Whenever he came near me, I used the chain lock to scare him.

To escape from the dog’s bite, I started running and he thought that I was playing with him, and started chasing me. Racing with the dog, I lost one of my slippers and was now running with one slipper. Our bad luck, the gate was closed. Now as the dog was focusing on my brother, I approached the gate and without disturbing the fellow’s attention somehow managed to open the gate. Now he gave me a look as if saying “Now you, you can’t escape”. But I had to escape. Both of us fled, with the dog behind us. My brother being a better runner, defeated me and the dog’s attention was diverted towards him. I halted at this end. Now the dog had a large area to practice his running skills. We both were at the roads opposite ends and he was playing a messenger between us. We both had our own weapons. I had the chain lock as mentioned earlier. My poor brother had to collect some stones and fight with it. Taking his chance my brother escaped. Now it was only me and our hero. And he was really enjoying himself. This battle continued for some time. Luckily the dog owner’s relatives were residing a few blocks away and they noticed what had happened. They invited me inside their house and one of the member of the family was now ready to go into the battle field. He some how managed to inform the pet’s owner and completed the rescue mission.

After this incident, I was too careful, not to close the gate completely so that I could escape during emergencies. While locking my cycle, I used to think “I hear foot steps, is he ready for round 2?”

I Salute Her

Her auburn eyes reflect
The agony of her engulfed heart
Her faded finger-print flaunts
Her unconditional sacrifices
Her silver strands are a witness
Of her deterministic struggle

For one cause
For a smile
In the lips
Not her own
But in a way
Her own

For the success
She will fight
Till the blood flows
In her veins
But it is not her success
Yet It is her success
In a way

The debt
I repay
But my life is scarce
I vow
“Till I breathe my last
Will save her tears
Aren’t they precious pearls?”

I Thank her
For showing me what I can be
I love her
For making me what I am
I salute her
For her sacrifices and love

Love you mom….

Cupid's bow

A sweet stab from the Cupid’s bow
It doesn’t heal but it does grow
Cuddled and muddled healer I seek
Cause and cure you are for sure

Towed my strings for a enthralling song
In it I drown from dusk to dawn
All my prudence in an instant gone
Sprouted depression is today a storm

My autumn leaf is drawn by your breeze
Mirror betrays, my reflection is gone
All it depicts is me in you
All it portrays is you in me

Spring is here

The frozen tendrils now bask
In the warmth of the scarlet kiss
The elfin buds now peep
Waiting for the eternal bliss

Yes, winter is gone….

Curtailed curfew now wanes
In the clout of the tepid rays
Sapphire sky bestows a bracing smile
Waking up after the prolonged hibernation

Yes, winter is gone….

The birds now hum a new song
As the cosmos awaits a new dawn
The brisk breeze acts as a herald
Imparting the inception of spring

Yes Spring is here…..

You will witness

You departed as a galloping gale
Withering the roots of my credence
Putrid raspberries now lie
Shrouded under your footprints

The mermaids savored the tears
From the oasis of my arid heart
The ocean now rouses at sundown
Humming a lullaby to mend my lesions

The kiln of my heart chokes
It would blaze no more
The lamps have oozed the oil
They will be lighted no more

Fenced in the womb of gloom
I linger for the kiss of crimson lord
The dusk will pall, new dawn will call
The raspberries will be sweet again

The ocean will again croon a blissful song
And mermaids will dance to the cadence
The lanterns would be lighted
Mirth will sprout outfoxing torment

And you will witness this repenting your folly

My Success Song

Mushy heart understands not
Has been distorted to ashen gray
Silted wounds grow as mound
Eroding life from my sea shore

Sprinkled salt makes me halt
Have to succumb some more
The path is long and I drift along
Fluttering and holding the anchor of life

Beacon I see towards which I flee
The storm enrages shaking my core
My gondola is lost, It is a thing of past
The beacon now glows inside my heart

I’ll light up my soul and emerge as a whole
Crusading till I lose the last of my breath
Through barriers I’ll wade, the gloom will fade
And the sea will chant my success song

Fate

With hopeful dreams I stepped
With a powerful blow you crushed
Expanding my hopeful void
Shrinking me and my credence

Taunting and tampering
The real me
Slowly unearthing
The fallacious me

I am now a dwindled dust
Trampled under your feet
You drill inside my dead soul
With your shrouded opaque eyes

You ask me to change before it is late
Those words “I love you for what you are”
Fade as vapor before the power of
The fate written with black ink

Dreams

Countless dreams buried
Inside the prison of my heart
The prison is locked
The key is lost
I know for sure
The key is with you
But you won’t release
My precious dreams
For you are petrified
A coward you are
You threw a stone
To break my heart
I have picked it
And with that stone
I will break the lock
No more stopping
I will wait no more
I will waste no more
Life goes on
My dreams will fly
And touch the sky
You wait and watch
As the day nears….

Thank you my dear

I approached closer
Held you in my hands
Moistened you
Licked you
You rubbed
All over
And I sparkled
In your touch
I was fresh
And pallid
Once again

Thank you my dear

tooth brush………

Phoenix

Read my eyes
For it may rain soon
The vapors may rise
From the hampered heart
My mirages may be lost
In the impending blizzard
A nugget of me
May still cling
But “ME” would be gone
Read my eyes
Before dusk

But if you fail
Fret no more
I would rise again
From my ash
Towing my chunk
I would recreate
A new me
Wrought
By my failures
And await for the
New dawn

I am a phoenix
Willing to die million deaths
To be reborn yet again

Burn my wings

Burn my wings
for I wish to fly
And reach those
Unexplored horizons
And write my name
But you say
I can’t go high

Let me see in
Black and white
For I wish
To blend my hues
And paint a picture so new
But you say
I can’t paint

Let me die
For I wish to live
A life of my own
And leave a mark
In each of the hearts
But you say
I am lifeless

Here I am again

I an amateur mortal
Learning the lessons of life
Striving for perfection
I tremble and fall
But I do not halt

Pat myself
For the struggle
Revisit my path
To see where
I was wrong

I restart once more
With refreshed vigor
The haze disperses
I can see my goal
I say “here I am again”

Magic Land

Stepping into the doorway
Of the heaven in earth
I lowered my site
And saw vivid flowers
Scattered for my welcome
Trees kept on bestowing
A rain of flowers
I stumbled and charily
Placed my feet
To avoid
Crumpling the soft petals

I hummed a tune
The birds chirped
The breeze swayed
In perfect harmony
Touching my cheeks
Touching my soul
A magic land
Was ahead
So pretty, so pure
As if in dream

I strode ahead
Quickening my steps
To witness an
Unexpected joy
But unfortunate I was
In a second it vanished
Leaving me all alone
In midst of smoke


From the vehicles
I said to myself
“Enough of day dreams”
The signal has changed. Drive….”

I am negative

Expect the unexpected they say
Be positive they say
But I contradict
I am negative
Yes, Negative I am
You may speculate
Why I am so?
Even if you don’t concur
It is undoubtedly true

To set your heart
And wish for something
With each globule of blood
With each intake of breath
And when the dream shatters
You are left with a bleeding heart
And tearful eye
Afraid to open your eyes
For the tears may dry
And you may see
A totally lifeless human
In front of the mirror

But if you are negative
And know that you will lose
You make up your mind
And take it easy
But still you give
Your hundred percent dedication
If you win
All is well and good
If you lose
It was supposed to be

Kuch to kami hogi mere pyar mein

Kuch to kami hogi mere pyar mein
Jo tune mujhe apnaya nahi
Wadein to hazaar kiye
Par unhe nibhaya nahi

Mera pyaar ko diya maar
Jane kyon tujhe wo bhaya nahi
Mere hi dil mein diya usse dafna
Shayad pyar karna mujhe aaya nahi

Mere umeed ban gaye murjhaye phool
Jo manga maine wo paya nahi
Teri aankhen bhikere dhoop
Milti ek pal ki chaya nahi

Joode maine tere sur se sur
Par tune geet gaya nahi
Haan kuch to kami hogi mere pyar mein
Jo tune mujhe apnaya nahi

Musing on proverbs

A friend in need is a friend indeed
But where are the friends who pay real heed

A thing of beauty is joy forever
But beauty is not eternal however

A good beginning makes a good ending
I began well but my struggle is unending

A person is known by the company he keeps
But if the company kicks the person weeps

A picture paints a thousand words
But seeing this picture I am out of words

A problem shared is a problem halved
I have lot of problems but no one to share

An apple a day keeps the doctor away
But if a doctor eats apple, what will you say

Don't cross the bridge till you come to it
But how can I cross without coming to it

God helps those who help themselves
But if we can help over selves, why do we need god’s help

Good talk saves the food
I will talk to my guests saving the food

It takes a thief to catch a thief
If you have caught one, where are you stealing next?

It's never too late
So I will come a little late


Necessity is the mother of invention
If so, who is the father?

Only fools and horses work
I am neither so I won’t work

Talk is cheap
Then why is my phone bill so high?

The Devil finds work for idle hands to do
My boss gives work always, is he a devil too?


There's no such thing as a free lunch
So from now onwards don’t ask for treats

When the cat's away the mice will play
If the cat comes back, it will be mice’s last day

You can't get blood out of a stone
But if you use that stone, you will get blood

You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar
And if you are so free, come to my home as well and catch some

Poppies

The red poppies
Sparkle magnificently
Veiling the spiteful past
Which had been erased
From the pages of history

They conceal the graves
Of the loyal warriors
The blossoms swallowed
Their untainted blood
How they reflect it
In their blood red hue

The warriors fought
In this barren terrain
Conferring their life
For the mother land
Making the land fertile

Today they live
In each of the poppies
Spilling venom
Echoing their destiny
The history has unraveled
Against the wish of the spies

It will remain eternal
In the veins of the buds
These poisonous poppies
Will take revenge
Silencing malice

These poisonous poppies
Will take revenge
Silencing malice

You

Days matter not
Nor does nights
All that matters
Is just you

On the day
When I met you
I stopped existing
And started living

Just tell me
How can I breathe?
When you have taken
My breath away

With each of your glance
You send a tremor
In my hermit heart
Yet it yearns for more

Days matter now
Nights matter too
Each of the second matters
When you are not near

Remembrance is forever

My ears hear the verbose song
Of a wait so long
Remembrance for thee
Remembrance for me
Remembrance for our true love
But alas! I was so wrong

Coercing myself to remember not
Those beautiful moments in my life
My life in those beautiful moments
Because memory forwards
It is remembrance again
Of thou elusion

They say that
Rose is for remembrance
Its beauty I see not
The thorns sting
Turning the pallid blossom
To a blood red

I vow to myself
I am over it;
I shall remember not
Making up my mind
I turn back
Roses I see
It is you I see

Remembrance – It is forever….

I saw....

Blowing fresh air
In the window sill
I saw her…….
She was standing there
Her hair so wet
Droplets dripping

Our eyes met
She ran…and sat
On the pathway bench
Opened up a diary
Hastily turned
The pages…..

She starred at void
Making up her mind
What to write
She took her pen
On a page she stopped
She tried to write

Her eyes filled with tears
Dropping the diary…she ran
Seeing her
I rushed
Ran behind
Followed her


She merged with the mist
And disappeared
Speechless I stood
Totally perplexed
Slowly I turned
And retraced my path


I sat on the pathway bench
Let out a gasp
My eyes fell on the diary
The pages turning
With the wind
It stopped on a page


Curiously I glanced
I noted the date
My heart skipped a beat
It was today
Few words I saw
In blood red

“I will be back”

I shut my eyes tight
Chanting a prayer
I felt a chill
I felt something
Touching my feet

I pulled it
And wrapped myself tightly
With the blanket
And slept
Forgetting the dream

Frozen Thoughts

Lonely in a horde
A silent stinging ache
Sour smile in the parched lips
Flaming and weeping heart
Tears fail to dry
Fears make me cry
Meaninglessly hoping
For a miracle
In this meaningless world
But betryal is written
With an invisible ink
Wherever I turn
I see, those biased faces
With disloyal traces
I succumb to those
Innocent smiles
But the monster creeps
Sending tremors
Making me loose faith
In this lovely creation
Of god- life